


socks

by fictionalrobin



Series: trans!magnus [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Drabble, F/M, Humor, M/M, Movie Night, Trans Magnus Bane, Trans Male Character, disgusting jokes, jace just wants his cheetos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-03-13
Packaged: 2019-03-30 19:27:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,604
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13958388
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictionalrobin/pseuds/fictionalrobin
Summary: the gang watch a movie and talk about gender, race and berries(there's way too much angst in this series, they need it)





	socks

**Author's Note:**

> some of these jokes are inpsired by real conversations, but i know they're a lot more strickt about PC culture in the US so tell me if my viking ass went too far

"so anyways, that is why pineapple does not belong on pizza," Jace finished off his preaching with a loud crunch on a Cheeto. The TV banged next to him with a long forgotten action movie, casting blue and grey shadows on his powder-covered face and fingers, "and if any of you fuckers disagree; the door is right there." 

An explosion went off on the screen, making Simon jump. He was probably the only one of the six, who was actually paying attention to the movie. He was sitting on the floor, nuzzled in between Izzy and Jaces knees.  

"I don't know," Clary shrugged from her position behind Jace, "Hawaiian pizza is okay."  

Jace exclaimed a sound of disgust. He wiggled in her grasp until he could glare at her, "I wanna break up!" 

Clary put a hand up in defence, "hey! I didn't say I like it. I'm just....neutral..." 

"mmm!" Izzy swallowed her mouthful of M&M's, "that's not how that works. Either you love pineapple-pizza or you despise everything about it."   

Alec rolled his eyes.  

To celebrate the defeat of Jonathan, the gang (as Clary insisted on calling them) had decided to take a break. Apparently, "a break" meant all six of them squishing together on Magnus and Alecs couch and watching a horrible kong-fu movie.   

But as usually they'd ended up arguing about something completely pointless.  

"she's right," Simon noted, apparently not as invested in the film as Alec thought, "there are only two genders; pineapple or no pineapple, no offence Magnus."  

Alec felt Magnus move in his lap. Somewhere along the evening they'd ended up in a spooning position, that Alec didn't wanna admint was identical to Jace and Clarys. He squeezed Magnus a little closer so he wouldn't get away.  

"I'm not non-binary, Simon, just transgender." 

Clary tilted her head, "but doesn't non-binary fall under the trans-umbrella?" 

Simon hadn't been at "The Big Reveal" (Jace had dubbed it that,  _not_ Alec) but Izzy had called him almost straight away. Of course this resulted in an hour of relentless and awkward questioning. Some of the questions had been a bit too personal in Alecs opinion, but Magnus said he was just being over-protective. 

"yeah, I mean if you think of the umbrella-version...." Magnus nodded to Clary, "but the term has two meanings; like queer."  

He nuzzled closer to Alec, and teased Izzys leg with his foot. She was the only person not cuddling anyone, safe for Simon cradling her knee, sitting in the middle of the two couples on the couch like a lofi love-godess. 

"I actually thought I was non-binary at one point," Simon said with a shrug. 

"what?!" Clary jolted up, so Jace dropped the Cheetos, "really? Why didn't you say anything??" 

"I wasn't sure!" Simon exclaimed. 

"I can't belive you'd keep something like that for me. Was that why you were weird all summer? You should've just told me!" 

"hey!" Magnus raised a finger, "in this house their will be no pressure when it comes to coming out whatsoever. If Simon didn't feel comfortable telling you, he should not have had to."  

"oh," Clary blushed, "right, yeah you're right." 

"anyways it turned out I wa-now what the hell!" Simon yelled at the TV and threw Jaces Cheetos at the screen, where two people were battling (again). 

"my Cheetos..." Jace muttered weakly. 

Izzy squinted her eyes at the screen, "you know Magnus, you could totally star in one of those movies." 

"what?"  

"she's right you know," Simon nodded at the screen, "with your fighting skill, it'd be awesome, plus!-" he sent Magnus a snapping fingergun, "you could do your own dub afterwards."  

"okay that's," Magnus furrowed his brow, "slightly racist....but actually really good career advise,"  

"I'll take it at that..."  

"look! Look!" Jace frantically pointed at the screen. He was munching down on a pack of M&M's, that Alec guessed was Izzys, "that guy even looks a bit like you."  

"what?!" Alec furrowed his brow and leaned forward, "bitch where?"  

"the dude in the cage, Tiefang."  

"pfff," Alec snorted, before slumping back on the couch, "Magnus is way hotter than that."  

"agreed," Magnus smirked and tilted his head back for a kiss, resulting in a kick from Jace. 

"no kissing under the movie." 

"you're just jealous cuss your girlfriend won't kiss you on your gross Cheeto-face," Alec teased. Seconds later a blue M&M nearly hit him in the face.  

"mm! Hey, check this out," Izzy nodded at something on her phone, "Raj was just mad pranked by a fae!" 

"what?" Clary shifted under Jace, "where?" 

"on Twitter."  

"you guys have Twitter!? You explisetly told me you didn't have a Twitter-feed." 

"yeah but after you mentioned it, we got one. Check this out; the fae attacked him somewhere called Blueberry Drive, she poured sevage-slime in his underwear."  

Alec snickered, "really? Theres a place called Blueberry Drive? Also, Clary don't feel bad, I had no idea the institute had a Twitter either, and I run the fucking thing."  

Izzy nodded, "it's in Denmark."  

"are there any other berry-themed drives nearby?" Jace asked sceptically.  

"yup, one," Izzy tapped at the screen, "it's called Juniper Drive."  

"what?!" Simon violently turned around, "Juniper??how does that make any sense? o _h!_ _We_ _can_ _make_ _two_ _berry themed_ _roads_ _._ _We'll_ _name_ _one_ _after_ _this_ _a_ _this_ _really_ _popular_ _berry_ _, and the_ _other_ _after_ _this_ _super_ _irrel_ _e_ _v_ _a_ _nt_ _berry_ _,_ _that_ _literally_ _no_ _one_ _cares_ _about_ _!_  why..."  

"agreed!" Jace gestured towards Simon, "they had so many better options! Strawberry, raspberry, red currant."  

"cranberry," Magnus tuned in, "gooseberry."  

"mulberry," Izzy added. 

"cloudberry," Alec said 

"rowan, black currant," Simon nodded, "and snowberry, though those aren't edible."  

"mistletoe! Has berries too," Alec added. 

Magnus perked up, "oh yeah! Those tiny white fuckers! No offence Jace..." 

"buckthorn has berries as well," Clary pointed out. 

"fair point Fray." 

Simon leaned forward, "or you could say, Fairchild."  

"FAIR POINT MY CHILD," Clary beamed, opening both her arms and making Jace spill the M&M's 

"oh....not again....." Jace mumbled. 

"BLACKBERRIES!" 

Alec nearly had a heart attack when Magnus jolted up with a scream. 

"BLACKBERRIES! How did we forget about blackberries..."  

"oh my god," Simon stared at the ground in disbelieve, "how did we forget about blackberries...they are truely the most underrated berry of them all..."  

"Simon would you please give me back my Cheetos?" Jace begged, before sending Clary a sharp look, "I lost my M&M's." 

"actually, those were mine," Izzy said, receiving only a wave from Jace, before he caught Cheetos. 

"urgh it's warm!......why are they warm?"  

"hey Magnus!" Simon turned to Magnus, "do you have any shaving creme?" 

"we're two queer men living alone in a loft in Brooklyn, New York, of course we have shaving creme."  

"great, cuss I plan on filling all of you fuckers' socks with shaving creme while you sleep."  

"a terrible plan that'll definetly create a giant mess, as well as months of tense conflict and build up spite," Magnus winked, "I'm in." 

"great! Magnus is now my allie everybody," Simon rolled his shoulders, "watch out, for the Slippy Squad will be doing evil tonight."  

"yeah, don't ever call us that again." 

"okay..." Simon sent him a hesitant fingergun, "the Creamy Company?"  

"hello! Everyone! Though I agree that was an amazing pun Simon, and Magnus you are an idiot for rejecting it, I say we get back to much more important matters," Izzy announced, "this picture of Raj with slimey-sevage-pants just got uploaded to Twitter." 

"uh, let me hear that bird sing!" Alec stretched his arm across Magnus' shoulder towards Izzys phone, "oh, yes that is beautiful."  

"Raj rubish pants to the rise!" Simon grined and high-fived Izzy, while Clary shook her head in confusion. 

Alec handed Izzys phone back, "urgh, this movie is garbage! Why can't we watch One Day At a Time?" 

Clary raised her eyebrow, "you watch Sit-coms?"  

"it's gay and Latinx!" Alec defended, "my hopeless homosexual ass is powerless against it."  

"that is true," Magnus said, "you truely are a useless gay."  

"thanks babe."  

"oh yeah that's right! You guys are part latino," Jace said.  

Simon turned around, "how does that work though? Aren't shadowhunters white since Idris, where you come from, is in Europe?"  

"no, there are black and Asian shadowhunters, so that's not it," Izzy pointed out, "and Shadowhunters aren't technically  _from_ Idris. When Jonathan Shadowhunter received the mortal cup, warriors from all over the world came to drink from it. They all just resided in Idris. Plus I think a few mundanes and downworlders might've added to the gene-pole along the way," she stole a Cheeto from Jace, "but really we can't be 100% sure. The texts that depict the tale of Jonathan Shadowhunter were written like...a billion years ago. They aren't the most inclusive, and ew you're right, these are warm." 

"that makes sense," Magnus agreed, "love tends to find it's way through cracks a creases, no matter what we do."  

"that's what she said." 

Clary slapped her boyfriends arm.  

"no seriously," Alec reached for the remote, "let's watch something else."  

"yeah, Tiefang  _is_  giving me the heebie jeebies," Magnus fiddled after the remote in an attempt to force it from Alecs fingers. 

"I vote Brooklyn 99," Simon exclaimed, "or parks and recreation."  

"parks and recreation isn't on Netflix," Clary noted. 

"what?!....aaaw man...."  

"I'm all up for Brooklyn," said Jace. 

"me too," Izzy agreed. 

"great," Magnus finally ripped the remote from Alec, "then it's settled."  

"let's watch some very unrealistic interpretation of the NY police department!" 

they all fell asleep twelve minutes later. 

No socks survived. 

**Author's Note:**

> if u didn't catch the refference: Harry Shum Jr starred as a character named TIefang in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon 2: sword of destiny (think thats wat its called)
> 
> !!!!!!!PSA!!!!!!!!  
> so my both of my tumblr blogs got deleted, my main blog (@polar-robin) as well as my side blog where i posted my fan fictions (@fictionalrobin)
> 
> IF YOU KNEW ME ON ANY OF THOSE URLS THIS IS ME
> 
> i have yet to set up a new writing blog, so if you want to read my fics, you can just follow me @robinowich (it’s a lot of work to set up a blog and I’m already exhausted from setting up my main one)
> 
> no i don’t know what happened, to me it seemed random, however I had just edited my settings for the new privacy policy thing (WHICH IS IMPORTANT CUSS I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW IF ANYONE HAS EXPERIENCED A SIMULAR PROBLEM)
> 
> anyways, I lost 350 followers on one blog and close to 100 on the other, as well as three years of gain, and I had to set up a whole new email address, because tumblr still registered me as a user even though my blog had been deleted, and it just said “your blog has been terminated” when i tried to log in :’)


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